2 pounds of fail

http://www.supersweetcandy.com/
yum yum in my tumtum
at least i'm working out with turtle 5 days a week now. unfortunately, i already have oreo cake also added onto my list of things to do for tonight as well.

another reason why I need to move out

Dad: Ruth, don't lean over tonight. Everyone will see your boobs
Mom: Let them enjoy the show!!!

favorite child revealed

scene - mom with zora

me: (petting kitty) aww zora is so cute!
mom: (looks at me in shock) your hands are cold!
me: i know, my hands are always cold
mom: you shouldn't pet zora! you're going to make the baby cold! (pushes me away)

someone has become mommy's favorite daughter, and it isn't me :(

a curse, or a blessing?

when you're little, everything seems normal. i used to eat spam every week. i didn't find out until junior high that i was one of the few, but one of the many in hawaii apparently. i never had spam sushi though. i'll try it next time in hawaii.

my mom always liked clothes and shoes. growing up, she had half of the master closet. somehow over the years, she took over the whole master closet, built one in another room, and when my grandma died, she converted that room into another closet. yes, the whole room. she also has her own shoe closet with at least 100 shoes. i call it hoarding, and then she gives the confused look like she never learned that word in english. maybe there's not a direct translation in ilonggo, tagalog, or spanish. however, she also looks confused when i follow the statement with the word denial.

the question is, is hoarding genetic? my colleague, NBS, said that this video reminded her of me:

yes, i have bought many groupons. i use them constantly. i visit new restaurants in dallas, and i convinced 2 gfs to sit with me naked in a korean spa. recently i've been chosen by groupon headquarters to be one of their "insiders" and they pay me in groupon dollars to do "research" for them each month. is this addiction? am i hoarding groupons? i do use them before the expiration date - they don't sit there and expire. that would be a waste.

right now, continuing from my last post, my life is awesome. being a groupon insider, i get to explore dallas even more. i haven't had one groupon expire yet that i bought, although i have given some away. however, if i start to let them expire, or you see me starting to wake up at 6am to do tai chi, that is not the valerie that sleeps til noon. please start to worry. that means i have a problem. that's when i'll call NBS, and maybe she'll inspire some jaded inspiration to help me out, but more than likely i'll just convince her to join me in the korean spa :)

why my life is awesome

No, it isn't because I'm a grad student, or that I was chosen as a Groupon Insider (although that does make me pretty awesome). Sometimes it really is the little things.

While living at home does have its disadvantages (e.g., awkwardness: "Yeah mom, I slept over with Pam's/Kristin's/[insert girlfriend's name here] last night... what, of course I wasn't drinking a lot..."), there are a whole host of benefits.

For example:
- During the cold winter months of Texas, my mom tuns on my space heater and electric blanket when she goes to bed, so when I sleep hours later, my room is already nice and toasty
- The magic coffee fairy has coffee ready every morning
- Besides alcohol runs, I've been to the grocery store 5 times in a year in a half
- Oatmeal is served when I wake up at 1pm on the weekends
- No more communal washers and clothes showing up nice and clean every week in my closet
- My dad drove me on the highways yesterday to my interview at the hospital when everything was covered in snow early in the morning. Interviewers were impressed, and I took credit for being a badass driving through the snow.

Do I want to move next year? Probably not. I still don't know how paying bills works. It might be difficult if I have to work at the VA or Galaxy next year. It probably just means more driving and road rage. I just need to remember to not get out of my car and yell at others. But overall, my life is pretty awesome, partly to my parents <3 <3

ode to adopted grampie

while no grandparents live with me, today's post is in honor of grandpa b, my adopted grandpa at my second home - campus.
here is an email after we were informed that icemageddon canceled class today:

"It's a shame how mother nature takes over the capacity of Machiavellian power and control-oriented faculty like myself to control the lives of students!! (tee-hee). Stay warm!!! "

kudos to the the use of "tee-hee" and power-wielding instincts. statements like these makes me feel like i'm your biological grandchild.

"I hope you dance..."::: ADHD

I come in to breakfast to see my mom interpretive dancing.
Unfortunately I didn't get it on video. I haven't upgraded yet to a newer iPhone.

My mom sees on Oprah(?) the body roll and attempts to do it.
For those of you that don't know what it is, here is a video.



I would say my mom is in great shape for 63, but I haven't met many 63 year olds that want to get down with the body roll. So today, at 5:30pm, I shared the knowledge with my mom.
She's hip, what can I say.

She dances a lot, and is part of a Filipino dance troupe here in Dallas. I would like to say that I get my ballroom dancing skills from her. However, she doesn't get hip hop, and here is a video of her interpreting how young people dance one new year's eve:

Naming Squirrels: ESL moment

Today I will introduce my mom, and my kitty Zora.

See my baby below:

Pure cuteness.

She loves the outdoors and was found cutely meowing at 3 months old for food outside on our porch, but is now a house kitty. Today began while looking outside at the squirrels from the kitchen window:


My mom calls me to look, because Zora being neurotic and trying to attack the window/squirrel outside. We have nothing to do. Hell (Texas) froze over, so we haven't had school or work for the past three days due to the ice gods smiling kindly down on me.
"I see a squirrel and Zora is trying to attack it through the window! (talking about the squirrel) That's lumber, I call that squirrel lumber!"
ESL moment, confusing Disney characters and construction materials.

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Hi and Welcome

I'm a 27 year old grad student living with my parents. This is a testament to saving money, losing face, and driving 30 minutes each day to school.