more asian knowledge

mom talking about other people being ignorant: "... yeah, he has a lot of rice and mashed potatoes to eat"

take me away please/the new 22

conversations via gchat instead of writing thesis or irb applications:


anon, almost 29 yrs old:
hey val, wanna move to london with me?

me:
YES

anon:
i have a new 23 year old lover

...

anon:
yeah, 23 is the new 22
all of mine have been 23

someone needs therapy

conversation overheard yesterday: "you were pretending to be dead, so it turned me on"

the new biebs

mommy signing justin bieber:

things I look forward to when I'm old

1. pretending to not understand something so i won't have to do it ("I forgot how to wash dishes... it's hard suffering from dementia...")
2. carrying a cane around and tripping small children and other people i dislike
3. peeing on the airplane floor like the great french actor gerard depardieu. take that AA. i will always remember that day in april 2011 where you made me beg to get on your shitty airplane when there was a 30+ waitlist.

come to think of it, i already do number 1. that means by the time i'm old i'll be even better at it. and another thank you to france for coming up with another great idea.

addicted to teen mom

someone has their eyes glued to the newest teen mom episode. zora might need a "i watch teen mom too much" intervention.

fear factor

me: turtle, tell me something scary so i'll stop hiccuping!
turtle (thinking): teen mom was cancelled today
me: do you think that that would really scare me? seriously...

(i immediately stopped hiccuping). <3 <3 <3 teen mom <3 <3 <3