going out without parents in dc

as mentioned in a previous entry, my parents are in dc with me for a conference.

(parents getting ready for bed. time is 11:20pm)

me: i'm going out for a drink. i'll be back soon.

mom: but it's late!

me: it's only 3 blocks away.

dad: are you going to that amateur strip show?

...

what do you even respond??

ed hardy and my dad

my dad's iphone case:



he has never heard of ed hardy. he just thought it was cool. heh.

laziness -- spring cleaning

me: mom, charlie look i cleaned the inside of my car!!

them: really? no you didn't.

me: go look

(parents look outside)

them: so how much did you pay for someone to do it?

me: i did it myself!!

them: we don't believe you. you wouldn't ever clean yourself.

important things learned in college

(anonymous): Learned in business law they can't outright fire you if you're a functioning alcoholic... My life just keeps getting better and better
(anonymous): Once I become a FUNCTIONING alcoholic that is

anonymous in action:

when you know your life needs an intervention...

my RA added to the lab calendar that i need to get out more. but i'm cool... really...

word of the day

Sabertooth
A woman too old or too ugly to be a cougar but tries anyway.

I went to Target and had a flip flop wearing Sabretooth tracking me through the paper goods.

learning a new thing everyday...

bonding with RAs: part 2

email to RA: "could you automate the rest of alfred's emails? everyone else
is done but him.
kudos to automating all of the self arguments emails perfectly.
austin complemented the well done job. a++++"

email from RA: "so, if i son't do alfred's emails, will i just get a a+++ ? cause that would be one + less."

email to RA: "i think this is more like an all or nothing effect like in action potentials"

email from RA: "so i'm just one serotonin molecule short? damn."

reincarnation

me: if i were reincarnated, i would totally be a house cat. their lives are so easy! they just eat and sleep. it's awesome. in fact, i would be my house cat. yeah, she leads such a great life.

turtle: you just want to be your cat so your mom will love you.

rude, and touche turtle.

bonding with RAs

RA: (chattering)

me: (not paying attention)

RA: do you hear me dawg?

me: (silence) are you talking to yourself?

RA: nah, I'm talking to you homie... dawg

i always knew i was ghetto fabulous, but apparently only the kid that grew up on the golf course understands it. represent.

5th grade science fair 16 years later...

guess who's coming to be the first people to see me present my poster at Society of Behavioral Medicine annual conference? my parents!!

they'll be traveling with me to DC to take photos and give general support. it's like they're coming to my 5th grade science fair, only now it's a national conference in psychology. i feel loved, but for some reason i think they'll find the volcano i made and blew up much more interesting than people's flu vaccination intentions.

survival: test 1 - food

on sunday, mom decides that i need to get my own food. so that day i go to whole foods and get a lot of frozen food. actually cooking seemed like a lot of effort, so i thought i would start with microwaving and baking.

today i tried baking pizza minis. it was the first time using an oven in a year and a half. i ended up with a burn across my hand.

survival test 1 fail. :(

children

dad: ruth, if you had a kitty earlier, maybe you wouldn't have wanted kids...

mom: (no response, pets kitty in lap)

kitty is copying me

zora has a 6th sense and knows how i feel after reading articles for class for more than 2 minutes.