angry birds

scene: dad playing angry birds for hours after introducing it to him today.

mom: this is your fault that he can't stop playing with the birdies.

decrowned

mom: you need to stat making your own breakfast. you are 28. you no longer wear the crown. it was given to the two kitties.

Les filles en france

Valerie without the girls:
Roquette: we just read books and watched that porn on the tv. We were like an old married couple
Momma m: I don't think that's what old married couples do...


Last night at the hotel:
Roquette: why don't you find us some nice porn on the tv Valerie?

Wisdom from an european

Me: yeah at the monthly gun shows you can buy tasers and brass knuckles

European: Texas seems like a great place to live, for a white man

asian wisdom

mom: (talking about all different types of engineering because i said that i didn't know the difference...) see your mother is smart. you need to eat many more kilos of rice before you understand life.

alcoholism talk with advisor

(Advisor realizing my love of quality, delicious pizza...)

Advisor: So had any more pizza this weekend?

Me: No, but I had the BEST thing at IHOP! You know how they have the monthly specials? Like waffles and chicken last month?

Advisor: Umm, that's ok you don't need to explain more... just kidding... go on...

Me: I had this delicious cheesy egg scramble and it had tortilla chips on top with enchilada sauce and sour cream on top. It was so good.

Advisor: So when did you have this?

Me: Yesterday around noon I think.

Advisor: Oh ok. Not saturday night at 2pm... hahaha

I don't think he believed me... le sigh...

going out without parents in dc

as mentioned in a previous entry, my parents are in dc with me for a conference.

(parents getting ready for bed. time is 11:20pm)

me: i'm going out for a drink. i'll be back soon.

mom: but it's late!

me: it's only 3 blocks away.

dad: are you going to that amateur strip show?

...

what do you even respond??